THE WARDEN
PART 8
Chapter
XV
Tom Towers, Dr Anticant, and Mr Sentiment
"Ah,
Bold! how are you? You haven't breakfasted?"
"Oh
yes, hours ago. And how are you?"
When one
Esquimau meets another, do the two, as an invariable rule, ask after each
other's health? is it inherent in all human nature to make this obliging
inquiry? Did any reader of this tale ever meet any friend or acquaintance
without asking some such question, and did anyone ever listen to the reply?
Sometimes a studiously courteous questioner will show so much thought in the
matter as to answer it himself, by declaring that had he looked at you he
needn't have asked; meaning thereby to signify that you are an absolute
personification of health: but such persons are only those who premeditate
small effects.
"I
suppose you're busy?" inquired Bold.
"Why,
yes, rather;—or I should say rather not. If I have a leisure hour in the day,
this is it."
"I
want to ask you if you can oblige me in a certain matter."
Towers
understood in a moment, from the tone of his friend's voice, that the certain
matter referred to the newspaper. He smiled, and nodded his head, but made no
promise.
"You
know this lawsuit that I've been engaged in," said Bold.
Tom Towers
intimated that he was aware of the action which was pending about the hospital.
"Well,
I've abandoned it."
Tom Towers
merely raised his eyebrows, thrust his hands into his trowsers pockets, and
waited for his friend to proceed.
"Yes,
I've given it up. I needn't trouble you with all the history; but the fact is
that the conduct of Mr Harding—Mr Harding is the—"
"Oh
yes, the master of the place; the man who takes all the money and does
nothing," said Tom Towers, interrupting him.
"Well,
I don't know about that; but his conduct in the matter has been so excellent,
so little selfish, so open, that I cannot proceed in the matter to his
detriment." Bold's heart misgave him as to Eleanor as he said this; and
yet he felt that what he said was not untrue. "I think nothing should now
be done till the wardenship be vacant."
"And be
again filled," said Towers, "as it certainly would, before anyone
heard of the vacancy; and the same objection would again exist. It's an old
story, that of the vested rights of the incumbent; but suppose the incumbent
has only a vested wrong, and that the poor of the town have a vested right, if
they only knew how to get at it: is not that something the case here?"
Bold
couldn't deny it, but thought it was one of those cases which required a good
deal of management before any real good could be done. It was a pity that he
had not considered this before he crept into the lion's mouth, in the shape of
an attorney's office.
"It
will cost you a good deal, I fear," said Towers.
"A
few hundreds," said Bold—"perhaps three hundred; I can't help that,
and am prepared for it."
"That's
philosophical. It's quite refreshing to hear a man talking of his hundreds in
so purely indifferent a manner. But I'm sorry you are giving the matter up. It
injures a man to commence a thing of this kind, and not carry it through. Have
you seen that?" and he threw a small pamphlet across the table, which was
all but damp from the press.
Bold had
not seen it nor heard of it; but he was well acquainted with the author of
it,—a gentleman whose pamphlets, condemnatory of all things in these modern
days, had been a good deal talked about of late.
Dr
Pessimist Anticant was a Scotchman, who had passed a great portion of his early
days in Germany; he had studied there with much effect, and had learnt to look
with German subtilty into the root of things, and to examine for himself their
intrinsic worth and worthlessness. No man ever resolved more bravely than he to
accept as good nothing that was evil; to banish from him as evil nothing that
was good. 'Tis a pity that he should not have recognised the fact, that in this
world no good is unalloyed, and that there is but little evil that has not in
it some seed of what is goodly.
Returning
from Germany, he had astonished the reading public by the vigour of his
thoughts, put forth in the quaintest language. He cannot write English, said
the critics. No matter, said the public; we can read what he does write, and
that without yawning. And so Dr Pessimist Anticant became popular. Popularity
spoilt him for all further real use, as it has done many another. While, with
some diffidence, he confined his objurgations to the occasional follies or
shortcomings of mankind; while he ridiculed the energy of the squire devoted to
the slaughter of partridges, or the mistake of some noble patron who turned a
poet into a gauger of beer-barrels, it was all well; we were glad to be told
our faults and to look forward to the coming millennium, when all men, having
sufficiently studied the works of Dr Anticant, would become truthful and
energetic. But the doctor mistook the signs of the times and the minds of men,
instituted himself censor of things in general, and began the great task of
reprobating everything and everybody, without further promise of any millennium
at all. This was not so well; and, to tell the truth, our author did not
succeed in his undertaking. His theories were all beautiful, and the code of
morals that he taught us certainly an improvement on the practices of the age.
We all of us could, and many of us did, learn much from the doctor while he
chose to remain vague, mysterious, and cloudy: but when he became practical,
the charm was gone.
His
allusion to the poet and the partridges was received very well. "Oh, my
poor brother," said he, "slaughtered partridges a score of brace to
each gun, and poets gauging ale-barrels, with sixty pounds a year, at Dumfries,
are not the signs of a great era!—perhaps of the smallest possible era yet
written of. Whatever economies we pursue, political or other, let us see at
once that this is the maddest of the uneconomic: partridges killed by our land
magnates at, shall we say, a guinea a head, to be retailed in Leadenhall at one
shilling and ninepence, with one poacher in limbo for every fifty birds! our
poet, maker, creator, gauging ale, and that badly, with no leisure for making
or creating, only a little leisure for drinking, and such like beer-barrel
avocations! Truly, a cutting of blocks with fine razors while we scrape our
chins so uncomfortably with rusty knives! Oh, my political economist, master of
supply and demand, division of labour and high pressure,—oh, my loud-speaking
friend, tell me, if so much be in you, what is the demand for poets in these
kingdoms of Queen Victoria, and what the vouchsafed supply?"
This was
all very well: this gave us some hope. We might do better with our next poet,
when we got one; and though the partridges might not be abandoned, something
could perhaps be done as to the poachers. We were unwilling, however, to take
lessons in politics from so misty a professor; and when he came to tell us that
the heroes of Westminster were naught, we began to think that he had written
enough. His attack upon despatch boxes was not thought to have much in it; but
as it is short, the doctor shall again be allowed to speak his sentiments.
Could
utmost ingenuity in the management of red tape avail anything to men lying
gasping,—we may say, all but dead; could despatch boxes with never-so-much
velvet lining and Chubb's patent be of comfort to a people in extremis,
I also, with so many others, would, with parched tongue, call on the name of
Lord John Russell; or, my brother, at your advice, on Lord Aberdeen; or, my
cousin, on Lord Derby, at yours; being, with my parched tongue, indifferent to
such matters. 'Tis all one. Oh, Derby! Oh, Gladstone! Oh, Palmerston! Oh, Lord
John! Each comes running with serene face and despatch box. Vain physicians!
though there were hosts of such, no despatch box will cure this disorder! What!
are there other doctors' new names, disciples who have not burdened their souls
with tape? Well, let us call again. Oh, Disraeli, great oppositionist, man of
the bitter brow! or, Oh, Molesworth, great reformer, thou who promisest Utopia.
They come; each with that serene face, and each,—alas, me! alas, my
country!—each with a despatch box!
Oh, the
serenity of Downing Street!
My
brothers, when hope was over on the battle-field, when no dimmest chance of
victory remained, the ancient Roman could hide his face within his toga, and
die gracefully. Can you and I do so now? If so, 'twere best for us; if not, oh
my brothers, we must die disgracefully, for hope of life and victory I see none
left to us in this world below. I for one cannot trust much to serene face and
despatch box!
There
might be truth in this, there might be depth of reasoning; but Englishmen did
not see enough in the argument to induce them to withdraw their confidence from
the present arrangements of the government, and Dr Anticant's monthly pamphlet
on the decay of the world did not receive so much attention as his earlier
works. He did not confine himself to politics in these publications, but roamed
at large over all matters of public interest, and found everything bad.
According to him nobody was true, and not only nobody, but nothing; a man could
not take off his hat to a lady without telling a lie;—the lady would lie again
in smiling. The ruffles of the gentleman's shirt would be fraught with deceit,
and the lady's flounces full of falsehood. Was ever anything more severe than
that attack of his on chip bonnets, or the anathemas with which he endeavoured
to dust the powder out of the bishops' wigs?
The
pamphlet which Tom Towers now pushed across the table was entitled "Modern
Charity," and was written with the view of proving how much in the way of
charity was done by our predecessors,—how little by the present age; and it
ended by a comparison between ancient and modern times, very little to the
credit of the latter.
"Look
at this," said Towers, getting up and turning over the pages of the
pamphlet, and pointing to a passage near the end. "Your friend the warden,
who is so little selfish, won't like that, I fear." Bold read as follows—
Heavens,
what a sight! Let us with eyes wide open see the godly man of four centuries
since, the man of the dark ages; let us see how he does his godlike work, and,
again, how the godly man of these latter days does his.
Shall we
say that the former is one walking painfully through the world, regarding, as a
prudent man, his worldly work, prospering in it as a diligent man will prosper,
but always with an eye to that better treasure to which thieves do not creep
in? Is there not much nobility in that old man, as, leaning on his oaken staff,
he walks down the High Street of his native town, and receives from all
courteous salutation and acknowledgment of his worth? A noble old man, my
august inhabitants of Belgrave Square and such like vicinity,—a very noble old
man, though employed no better than in the wholesale carding of wool.
This
carding of wool, however, did in those days bring with it much profit, so that
our ancient friend, when dying, was declared, in whatever slang then prevailed,
to cut up exceeding well. For sons and daughters there was ample sustenance
with assistance of due industry; for friends and relatives some relief for
grief at this great loss; for aged dependents comfort in declining years. This
was much for one old man to get done in that dark fifteenth century. But this
was not all: coming generations of poor wool-carders should bless the name of
this rich one; and a hospital should be founded and endowed with his wealth for
the feeding of such of the trade as could not, by diligent carding, any longer
duly feed themselves.
'Twas thus
that an old man in the fifteenth century did his godlike work to the best of
his power, and not ignobly, as appears to me.
We will
now take our godly man of latter days. He shall no longer be a wool-carder, for
such are not now men of mark. We will suppose him to be one of the best of the
good, one who has lacked no opportunities. Our old friend was, after all, but
illiterate; our modern friend shall be a man educated in all seemly knowledge;
he shall, in short, be that blessed being,—a clergyman of the Church of
England!
And now,
in what perfectest manner does he in this lower world get his godlike work done
and put out of hand? Heavens! in the strangest of manners. Oh, my brother! in a
manner not at all to be believed, but by the most minute testimony of eyesight.
He does it by the magnitude of his appetite,—by the power of his gorge; his
only occupation is to swallow the bread prepared with so much anxious care for
these impoverished carders of wool,—that, and to sing indifferently through his
nose once in the week some psalm more or less long,—the shorter the better, we
should be inclined to say.
Oh, my
civilised friends!—great Britons that never will be slaves, men advanced to
infinite state of freedom and knowledge of good and evil;—tell me, will you,
what becoming monument you will erect to an highly-educated clergyman of the
Church of England?
Bold
certainly thought that his friend would not like that: he could not conceive
anything that he would like less than this. To what a world of toil and trouble
had he, Bold, given rise by his indiscreet attack upon the hospital!
"You
see," said Towers, "that this affair has been much talked of, and the
public are with you. I am sorry you should give the matter up. Have you seen
the first number of 'The Almshouse'?"
No; Bold
had not seen "The Almshouse." He had seen advertisements of Mr Popular
Sentiment's new novel of that name, but had in no way connected it with
Barchester Hospital, and had never thought a moment on the subject.
"It's
a direct attack on the whole system," said Towers. "It'll go a long
way to put down Rochester, and Barchester, and Dulwich, and St Cross, and all
such hotbeds of peculation. It's very clear that Sentiment has been down to
Barchester, and got up the whole story there; indeed, I thought he must have
had it all from you; it's very well done, as you'll see: his first numbers
always are."
Bold
declared that Mr Sentiment had got nothing from him, and that he was deeply
grieved to find that the case had become so notorious.
"The
fire has gone too far to be quenched," said Towers; "the building
must go now; and as the timbers are all rotten, why, I should be inclined to
say, the sooner the better. I expected to see you get some éclat in the
matter."
This was
all wormwood to Bold. He had done enough to make his friend the warden
miserable for life, and had then backed out just when the success of his
project was sufficient to make the question one of real interest. How weakly he
had managed his business! he had already done the harm, and then stayed his
hand when the good which he had in view was to be commenced. How delightful
would it have been to have employed all his energy in such a cause,—to have
been backed by The Jupiter, and written up to by two of the most popular
authors of the day! The idea opened a view into the very world in which he
wished to live. To what might it not have given rise? what delightful
intimacies,—what public praise,—to what Athenian banquets and rich flavour of
Attic salt?
This,
however, was now past hope. He had pledged himself to abandon the cause; and
could he have forgotten the pledge, he had gone too far to retreat. He was now,
this moment, sitting in Tom Towers' room with the object of deprecating any
further articles in The Jupiter, and, greatly as he disliked the job,
his petition to that effect must be made.
"I
couldn't continue it," said he, "because I found I was in the
wrong."
Tom Towers
shrugged his shoulders. How could a successful man be in the wrong! "In
that case," said he, "of course you must abandon it."
"And
I called this morning to ask you also to abandon it," said Bold.
"To ask
me," said Tom Towers, with the most placid of smiles, and a consummate
look of gentle surprise, as though Tom Towers was well aware that he of all men
was the last to meddle in such matters.
"Yes,"
said Bold, almost trembling with hesitation. "The Jupiter, you
know, has taken the matter up very strongly. Mr Harding has felt what it has
said deeply; and I thought that if I could explain to you that he personally
has not been to blame, these articles might be discontinued."
How calmly
impassive was Tom Towers' face, as this innocent little proposition was made!
Had Bold addressed himself to the doorposts in Mount Olympus, they would have
shown as much outward sign of assent or dissent. His quiescence was quite
admirable; his discretion certainly more than human.
"My
dear fellow," said he, when Bold had quite done speaking, "I really
cannot answer for The Jupiter."
"But
if you saw that these articles were unjust, I think that you would endeavour to
put a stop to them. Of course nobody doubts that you could, if you chose."
"Nobody
and everybody are always very kind, but unfortunately are generally very
wrong."
"Come,
come, Towers," said Bold, plucking up his courage, and remembering that
for Eleanor's sake he was bound to make his best exertion; "I have no doubt
in my own mind but that you wrote the articles yourself, and very well written
they were: it will be a great favour if you will in future abstain from any
personal allusion to poor Harding."
"My
dear Bold," said Tom Towers, "I have a sincere regard for you. I have
known you for many years, and value your friendship; I hope you will let me
explain to you, without offence, that none who are connected with the public
press can with propriety listen to interference."
"Interference!"
said Bold, "I don't want to interfere."
"Ah,
but, my dear fellow, you do; what else is it? You think that I am able to keep
certain remarks out of a newspaper. Your information is probably incorrect, as
most public gossip on such subjects is; but, at any rate, you think I have such
power, and you ask me to use it: now that is interference."
"Well,
if you choose to call it so."
"And
now suppose for a moment that I had this power, and used it as you wish: isn't
it clear that it would be a great abuse? Certain men are employed in writing
for the public press; and if they are induced either to write or to abstain
from writing by private motives, surely the public press would soon be of
little value. Look at the recognised worth of different newspapers, and see if
it does not mainly depend on the assurance which the public feel that such a
paper is, or is not, independent. You alluded to The Jupiter: surely you
cannot but see that the weight of The Jupiter is too great to be moved
by any private request, even though it should be made to a much more
influential person than myself: you've only to think of this, and you'll see
that I am right."
The
discretion of Tom Towers was boundless: there was no contradicting what he
said, no arguing against such propositions. He took such high ground that there
was no getting on to it. "The public is defrauded," said he,
"whenever private considerations are allowed to have weight." Quite
true, thou greatest oracle of the middle of the nineteenth century, thou
sententious proclaimer of the purity of the press;—the public is defrauded when
it is purposely misled. Poor public! how often is it misled! against what a
world of fraud has it to contend!
Bold took
his leave, and got out of the room as quickly as he could, inwardly denouncing
his friend Tom Towers as a prig and a humbug. "I know he wrote those
articles," said Bold to himself. "I know he got his information from
me. He was ready enough to take my word for gospel when it suited his own
views, and to set Mr Harding up before the public as an impostor on no other
testimony than my chance conversation; but when I offer him real evidence
opposed to his own views, he tells me that private motives are detrimental to
public justice! Confound his arrogance! What is any public question but a
conglomeration of private interests? What is any newspaper article but an
expression of the views taken by one side? Truth! it takes an age to ascertain
the truth of any question! The idea of Tom Towers talking of public motives and
purity of purpose! Why, it wouldn't give him a moment's uneasiness to change
his politics to-morrow, if the paper required it."
Such were
John Bold's inward exclamations as he made his way out of the quiet labyrinth
of the Temple; and yet there was no position of worldly power so coveted in Bold's
ambition as that held by the man of whom he was thinking. It was the
impregnability of the place which made Bold so angry with the possessor of it,
and it was the same quality which made it appear so desirable.
Passing
into the Strand, he saw in a bookseller's window an announcement of the first
number of "The Almshouse;" so he purchased a copy, and hurrying back
to his lodgings, proceeded to ascertain what Mr Popular Sentiment had to say to
the public on the subject which had lately occupied so much of his own
attention.
In former
times great objects were attained by great work. When evils were to be
reformed, reformers set about their heavy task with grave decorum and laborious
argument. An age was occupied in proving a grievance, and philosophical researches
were printed in folio pages, which it took a life to write, and an eternity to
read. We get on now with a lighter step, and quicker: ridicule is found to be
more convincing than argument, imaginary agonies touch more than true sorrows,
and monthly novels convince, when learned quartos fail to do so. If the world
is to be set right, the work will be done by shilling numbers.
Of all
such reformers Mr Sentiment is the most powerful. It is incredible the number
of evil practices he has put down: it is to be feared he will soon lack
subjects, and that when he has made the working classes comfortable, and got
bitter beer put into proper-sized pint bottles, there will be nothing further
for him left to do. Mr Sentiment is certainly a very powerful man, and perhaps
not the less so that his good poor people are so very good; his hard rich
people so very hard; and the genuinely honest so very honest. Namby-pamby in
these days is not thrown away if it be introduced in the proper quarters.
Divine peeresses are no longer interesting, though possessed of every virtue;
but a pattern peasant or an immaculate manufacturing hero may talk as much
twaddle as one of Mrs Ratcliffe's heroines, and still be listened to. Perhaps,
however, Mr Sentiment's great attraction is in his second-rate characters. If
his heroes and heroines walk upon stilts, as heroes and heroines, I fear, ever
must, their attendant satellites are as natural as though one met them in the
street: they walk and talk like men and women, and live among our friends a
rattling, lively life; yes, live, and will live till the names of their calling
shall be forgotten in their own, and Buckett and Mrs Gamp will be the only
words left to us to signify a detective police officer or a monthly nurse.
"The
Almshouse" opened with a scene in a clergyman's house. Every luxury to be
purchased by wealth was described as being there: all the appearances of
household indulgence generally found amongst the most self-indulgent of the
rich were crowded into this abode. Here the reader was introduced to the demon
of the book, the Mephistopheles of the drama. What story was ever written
without a demon? What novel, what history, what work of any sort, what world,
would be perfect without existing principles both of good and evil? The demon
of "The Almshouse" was the clerical owner of this comfortable abode.
He was a man well stricken in years, but still strong to do evil: he was one
who looked cruelly out of a hot, passionate, bloodshot eye; who had a huge red
nose with a carbuncle, thick lips, and a great double, flabby chin, which
swelled out into solid substance, like a turkey-cock's comb, when sudden anger
inspired him: he had a hot, furrowed, low brow, from which a few grizzled hairs
were not yet rubbed off by the friction of his handkerchief: he wore a loose
unstarched white handkerchief, black loose ill-made clothes, and huge loose
shoes, adapted to many corns and various bunions: his husky voice told tales of
much daily port wine, and his language was not so decorous as became a
clergyman. Such was the master of Mr Sentiment's "Almshouse." He was
a widower, but at present accompanied by two daughters, and a thin and somewhat
insipid curate. One of the young ladies was devoted to her father and the
fashionable world, and she of course was the favourite; the other was equally
addicted to Puseyism and the curate.
The second
chapter of course introduced the reader to the more especial inmates of the
hospital. Here were discovered eight old men; and it was given to be understood
that four vacancies remained unfilled, through the perverse ill-nature of the
clerical gentleman with the double chin. The state of these eight paupers was
touchingly dreadful: sixpence-farthing a day had been sufficient for their diet
when the almshouse was founded; and on sixpence-farthing a day were they still
doomed to starve, though food was four times as dear, and money four times as
plentiful. It was shocking to find how the conversation of these eight starved
old men in their dormitory shamed that of the clergyman's family in his rich
drawing-room. The absolute words they uttered were not perhaps spoken in the
purest English, and it might be difficult to distinguish from their dialect to
what part of the country they belonged; the beauty of the sentiment, however,
amply atoned for the imperfection of the language; and it was really a pity
that these eight old men could not be sent through the country as moral
missionaries, instead of being immured and starved in that wretched almshouse.
Bold
finished the number; and as he threw it aside, he thought that that at least
had no direct appliance to Mr Harding, and that the absurdly strong colouring
of the picture would disenable the work from doing either good or harm. He was
wrong. The artist who paints for the million must use glaring colours, as no
one knew better than Mr Sentiment when he described the inhabitants of his
almshouse; and the radical reform which has now swept over such establishments
has owed more to the twenty numbers of Mr Sentiment's novel, than to all the
true complaints which have escaped from the public for the last half century.
Chapter
XVI
A Long Day in London
The warden
had to make use of all his very moderate powers of intrigue to give his
son-in-law the slip, and get out of Barchester without being stopped on his
road. No schoolboy ever ran away from school with more precaution and more
dread of detection; no convict, slipping down from a prison wall, ever feared
to see the gaoler more entirely than Mr Harding did to see his son-in-law as he
drove up in the pony carriage to the railway station, on the morning of his
escape to London.
The
evening before he went he wrote a note to the archdeacon, explaining that he
should start on the morrow on his journey; that it was his intention to see the
attorney-general if possible, and to decide on his future plans in accordance
with what he heard from that gentleman; he excused himself for giving Dr
Grantly no earlier notice, by stating that his resolve was very sudden; and
having entrusted this note to Eleanor, with the perfect, though not expressed,
understanding that it was to be sent over to Plumstead Episcopi without haste,
he took his departure.
He also
prepared and carried with him a note for Sir Abraham Haphazard, in which he
stated his name, explaining that he was the defendant in the case of "The
Queen on behalf of the Wool-carders of Barchester v. Trustees under the
will of the late John Hiram," for so was the suit denominated, and begged
the illustrious and learned gentleman to vouchsafe to him ten minutes' audience
at any hour on the next day. Mr Harding calculated that for that one day he was
safe; his son-in-law, he had no doubt, would arrive in town by an early train,
but not early enough to reach the truant till he should have escaped from his
hotel after breakfast; and could he thus manage to see the lawyer on that very
day, the deed might be done before the archdeacon could interfere.
On his
arrival in town the warden drove, as was his wont, to the Chapter Hotel and
Coffee House, near St Paul's. His visits to London of late had not been
frequent; but in those happy days when "Harding's Church Music" was
going through the press, he had been often there; and as the publisher's house
was in Paternoster Row, and the printer's press in Fleet Street, the Chapter
Hotel and Coffee House had been convenient. It was a quiet, sombre, clerical
house, beseeming such a man as the warden, and thus he afterwards frequented
it. Had he dared, he would on this occasion have gone elsewhere to throw the
archdeacon further off the scent; but he did not know what violent steps his
son-in-law might take for his recovery if he were not found at his usual haunt,
and he deemed it not prudent to make himself the object of a hunt through
London.
Arrived at
his inn, he ordered dinner, and went forth to the attorney-general's chambers.
There he learnt that Sir Abraham was in Court, and would not probably return
that day. He would go direct from Court to the House; all appointments were, as
a rule, made at the chambers; the clerk could by no means promise an interview
for the next day; was able, on the other hand, to say that such interview was,
he thought, impossible; but that Sir Abraham would certainly be at the House in
the course of the night, where an answer from himself might possibly be
elicited.
To the
House Mr Harding went, and left his note, not finding Sir Abraham there. He
added a most piteous entreaty that he might be favoured with an answer that
evening, for which he would return. He then journeyed back sadly to the Chapter
Coffee House, digesting his great thoughts, as best he might, in a clattering
omnibus, wedged in between a wet old lady and a journeyman glazier returning
from his work with his tools in his lap. In melancholy solitude he discussed
his mutton chop and pint of port. What is there in this world more melancholy
than such a dinner? A dinner, though eaten alone, in a country hotel may be
worthy of some energy; the waiter, if you are known, will make much of you; the
landlord will make you a bow and perhaps put the fish on the table; if you ring
you are attended to, and there is some life about it. A dinner at a London
eating-house is also lively enough, if it have no other attraction. There is
plenty of noise and stir about it, and the rapid whirl of voices and rattle of
dishes disperses sadness. But a solitary dinner in an old, respectable, sombre,
solid London inn, where nothing makes any noise but the old waiter's creaking
shoes; where one plate slowly goes and another slowly comes without a sound;
where the two or three guests would as soon think of knocking each other down
as of speaking; where the servants whisper, and the whole household is
disturbed if an order be given above the voice,—what can be more melancholy
than a mutton chop and a pint of port in such a place?
Having
gone through this Mr Harding got into another omnibus, and again returned to
the House. Yes, Sir Abraham was there, and was that moment on his legs,
fighting eagerly for the hundred and seventh clause of the Convent Custody
Bill. Mr Harding's note had been delivered to him; and if Mr Harding would wait
some two or three hours, Sir Abraham could be asked whether there was any
answer. The House was not full, and perhaps Mr Harding might get admittance
into the Strangers' Gallery, which admission, with the help of five shillings,
Mr Harding was able to effect.
This bill
of Sir Abraham's had been read a second time and passed into committee. A
hundred and six clauses had already been discussed and had occupied only four
mornings and five evening sittings; nine of the hundred and six clauses were
passed, fifty-five were withdrawn by consent, fourteen had been altered so as
to mean the reverse of the original proposition, eleven had been postponed for
further consideration, and seventeen had been directly negatived. The hundred
and seventh ordered the bodily searching of nuns for jesuitical symbols by aged
clergymen, and was considered to be the real mainstay of the whole bill. No
intention had ever existed to pass such a law as that proposed, but the
government did not intend to abandon it till their object was fully attained by
the discussion of this clause. It was known that it would be insisted on with
terrible vehemence by Protestant Irish members, and as vehemently denounced by
the Roman Catholic; and it was justly considered that no further union between
the parties would be possible after such a battle. The innocent Irish fell into
the trap as they always do, and whiskey and poplins became a drug in the
market.
A florid-faced
gentleman with a nice head of hair, from the south of Ireland, had succeeded in
catching the speaker's eye by the time that Mr Harding had got into the
gallery, and was denouncing the proposed sacrilege, his whole face glowing with
a fine theatrical frenzy.
"And
this is a Christian country?" said he. (Loud cheers; counter cheers from
the ministerial benches. "Some doubt as to that," from a voice below
the gangway.) "No, it can be no Christian country, in which the head of
the bar, the lagal adviser (loud laughter and cheers)—yes, I say the lagal
adviser of the crown (great cheers and laughter)—can stand up in his seat in
this house (prolonged cheers and laughter), and attempt to lagalise indacent
assaults on the bodies of religious ladies." (Deafening cheers and
laughter, which were prolonged till the honourable member resumed his seat.)
When Mr
Harding had listened to this and much more of the same kind for about three
hours, he returned to the door of the House, and received back from the messenger
his own note, with the following words scrawled in pencil on the back of it:
"To-morrow, 10 p.m.—my chambers.—A. H."
He was so
far successful;—but 10 p.m.: what an hour Sir
Abraham had named for a legal interview! Mr Harding felt perfectly sure that
long before that Dr Grantly would be in London. Dr Grantly could not, however,
know that this interview had been arranged, nor could he learn it unless he
managed to get hold of Sir Abraham before that hour; and as this was very
improbable, Mr Harding determined to start from his hotel early, merely leaving
word that he should dine out, and unless luck were much against him, he might
still escape the archdeacon till his return from the attorney-general's
chambers.
He was at
breakfast at nine, and for the twentieth time consulted his Bradshaw, to see at
what earliest hour Dr Grantly could arrive from Barchester. As he examined the
columns, he was nearly petrified by the reflection that perhaps the archdeacon
might come up by the night-mail train! His heart sank within him at the horrid
idea, and for a moment he felt himself dragged back to Barchester without
accomplishing any portion of his object. Then he remembered that had Dr Grantly
done so, he would have been in the hotel, looking for him long since.
"Waiter,"
said he, timidly.
The waiter
approached, creaking in his shoes, but voiceless.
"Did
any gentleman,—a clergyman, arrive here by the night-mail train?"
"No,
sir, not one," whispered the waiter, putting his mouth nearly close to the
warden's ear.
Mr Harding
was reassured.
"Waiter,"
said he again, and the waiter again creaked up. "If anyone calls for me, I
am going to dine out, and shall return about eleven o'clock."
The waiter
nodded, but did not this time vouchsafe any reply; and Mr Harding, taking up
his hat, proceeded out to pass a long day in the best way he could, somewhere
out of sight of the archdeacon.
Bradshaw
had told him twenty times that Dr Grantly could not be at Paddington station
till 2 p.m., and our poor friend might therefore
have trusted to the shelter of the hotel for some hours longer with perfect
safety; but he was nervous. There was no knowing what steps the archdeacon
might take for his apprehension: a message by electric telegraph might desire
the landlord of the hotel to set a watch upon him; some letter might come which
he might find himself unable to disobey; at any rate, he could not feel himself
secure in any place at which the archdeacon could expect to find him; and at 10
a.m. he started forth to spend twelve hours in
London.
Mr Harding
had friends in town had he chosen to seek them; but he felt that he was in no
humour for ordinary calls, and he did not now wish to consult with anyone as to
the great step which he had determined to take. As he had said to his daughter,
no one knows where the shoe pinches but the wearer. There are some points on
which no man can be contented to follow the advice of another,—some subjects on
which a man can consult his own conscience only. Our warden had made up his
mind that it was good for him at any cost to get rid of this grievance; his
daughter was the only person whose concurrence appeared necessary to him, and
she did concur with him most heartily. Under such circumstances he would not,
if he could help it, consult anyone further, till advice would be useless.
Should the archdeacon catch him, indeed, there would be much advice, and much
consultation of a kind not to be avoided; but he hoped better things; and as he
felt that he could not now converse on indifferent subjects, he resolved to see
no one till after his interview with the attorney-general.
He
determined to take sanctuary in Westminster Abbey, so he again went thither in
an omnibus, and finding that the doors were not open for morning service, he
paid his twopence, and went in as a sightseer. It occurred to him that he had
no definite place of rest for the day, and that he should be absolutely worn
out before his interview if he attempted to walk about from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., so he sat
himself down on a stone step, and gazed up at the figure of William Pitt, who
looks as though he had just entered the church for the first time in his life
and was anything but pleased at finding himself there.
He had
been sitting unmolested about twenty minutes when the verger asked him whether
he wouldn't like to walk round. Mr Harding didn't want to walk anywhere, and
declined, merely observing that he was waiting for the morning service. The
verger, seeing that he was a clergyman, told him that the doors of the choir
were now open, and showed him into a seat. This was a great point gained; the
archdeacon would certainly not come to morning service at Westminster Abbey,
even though he were in London; and here the warden could rest quietly, and,
when the time came, duly say his prayers.
He longed
to get up from his seat, and examine the music-books of the choristers, and the
copy of the litany from which the service was chanted, to see how far the
little details at Westminster corresponded with those at Barchester, and
whether he thought his own voice would fill the church well from the
Westminster precentor's seat. There would, however, be impropriety in such
meddling, and he sat perfectly still, looking up at the noble roof, and
guarding against the coming fatigues of the day.
By degrees
two or three people entered; the very same damp old woman who had nearly
obliterated him in the omnibus, or some other just like her; a couple of young
ladies with their veils down, and gilt crosses conspicuous on their
prayer-books; an old man on crutches; a party who were seeing the abbey, and
thought they might as well hear the service for their twopence, as opportunity
served; and a young woman with her prayer-book done up in her handkerchief, who
rushed in late, and, in her hurried entry, tumbled over one of the forms, and
made such a noise that everyone, even the officiating minor canon, was
startled, and she herself was so frightened by the echo of her own catastrophe
that she was nearly thrown into fits by the panic.
Mr Harding
was not much edified by the manner of the service. The minor canon in question
hurried in, somewhat late, in a surplice not in the neatest order, and was
followed by a dozen choristers, who were also not as trim as they might have
been: they all jostled into their places with a quick hurried step, and the
service was soon commenced. Soon commenced and soon over,—for there was no
music, and time was not unnecessarily lost in the chanting. On the whole Mr
Harding was of opinion that things were managed better at Barchester, though
even there he knew that there was room for improvement.
It appears
to us a question whether any clergyman can go through our church service with
decorum, morning after morning, in an immense building, surrounded by not more
than a dozen listeners. The best actors cannot act well before empty benches,
and though there is, of course, a higher motive in one case than the other,
still even the best of clergymen cannot but be influenced by their audience;
and to expect that a duty should be well done under such circumstances, would
be to require from human nature more than human power.
When the
two ladies with the gilt crosses, the old man with his crutch, and the still
palpitating housemaid were going, Mr Harding found himself obliged to go too.
The verger stood in his way, and looked at him and looked at the door, and so
he went. But he returned again in a few minutes, and re-entered with another
twopence. There was no other sanctuary so good for him.
As he
walked slowly down the nave, and then up one aisle, and then again down the
nave and up the other aisle, he tried to think gravely of the step he was about
to take. He was going to give up eight hundred a year voluntarily; and doom
himself to live for the rest of his life on about a hundred and fifty. He knew
that he had hitherto failed to realise this fact as he ought to do. Could he
maintain his own independence and support his daughter on a hundred and fifty
pounds a year without being a burden on anyone? His son-in-law was rich, but
nothing could induce him to lean on his son-in-law after acting, as he intended
to do, in direct opposition to his son-in-law's counsel. The bishop was rich,
but he was about to throw away the bishop's best gift, and that in a manner to
injure materially the patronage of the giver: he could neither expect nor
accept anything further from the bishop. There would be not only no merit, but
positive disgrace, in giving up his wardenship, if he were not prepared to meet
the world without it. Yes, he must from this time forward bound all his human
wishes for himself and his daughter to the poor extent of so limited an income.
He knew he had not thought sufficiently of this, that he had been carried away
by enthusiasm, and had hitherto not brought home to himself the full reality of
his position.
He thought
most about his daughter, naturally. It was true that she was engaged, and he
knew enough of his proposed son-in-law to be sure that his own altered
circumstances would make no obstacle to such a marriage; nay, he was sure that
the very fact of his poverty would induce Bold more anxiously to press the
matter; but he disliked counting on Bold in this emergency, brought on, as it
had been, by his doing. He did not like saying to himself, Bold has turned me
out of my house and income, and, therefore, he must relieve me of my daughter;
he preferred reckoning on Eleanor as the companion of his poverty and exile,—as
the sharer of his small income.
Some
modest provision for his daughter had been long since made. His life was
insured for three thousand pounds, and this sum was to go to Eleanor. The
archdeacon, for some years past, had paid the premium, and had secured himself
by the immediate possession of a small property which was to have gone to Mrs
Grantly after her father's death. This matter, therefore, had been taken out of
the warden's hands long since, as, indeed, had all the business transactions of
his family, and his anxiety was, therefore, confined to his own life income.
Yes. A
hundred and fifty per annum was very small, but still it might suffice; but how
was he to chant the litany at the cathedral on Sunday mornings, and get the
service done at Crabtree Parva? True, Crabtree Church was not quite a mile and
a half from the cathedral; but he could not be in two places at once. Crabtree
was a small village, and afternoon service might suffice, but still this went
against his conscience; it was not right that his parishioners should be robbed
of any of their privileges on account of his poverty. He might, to be sure,
make some arrangements for doing week-day service at the cathedral; but he had
chanted the litany at Barchester so long, and had a conscious feeling that he
did it so well, that he was unwilling to give up the duty.
Thinking
of such things, turning over in his own mind together small desires and grave
duties, but never hesitating for a moment as to the necessity of leaving the
hospital, Mr Harding walked up and down the abbey, or sat still meditating on
the same stone step, hour after hour. One verger went and another came, but
they did not disturb him; every now and then they crept up and looked at him,
but they did so with a reverential stare, and, on the whole, Mr Harding found
his retreat well chosen. About four o'clock his comfort was disturbed by an
enemy in the shape of hunger. It was necessary that he should dine, and it was
clear that he could not dine in the abbey: so he left his sanctuary not
willingly, and betook himself to the neighbourhood of the Strand to look for
food.
His eyes
had become so accustomed to the gloom of the church, that they were dazed when
he got out into the full light of day, and he felt confused and ashamed of
himself, as though people were staring at him. He hurried along, still in dread
of the archdeacon, till he came to Charing Cross, and then remembered that in
one of his passages through the Strand he had seen the words "Chops and
Steaks" on a placard in a shop window. He remembered the shop distinctly;
it was next door to a trunk-seller's, and there was a cigar shop on the other
side. He couldn't go to his hotel for dinner, which to him hitherto was the
only known mode of dining in London at his own expense; and, therefore, he
would get a steak at the shop in the Strand. Archdeacon Grantly would certainly
not come to such a place for his dinner.
He found
the house easily,—just as he had observed it, between the trunks and the
cigars. He was rather daunted by the huge quantity of fish which he saw in the
window. There were barrels of oysters, hecatombs of lobsters, a few
tremendous-looking crabs, and a tub full of pickled salmon; not, however, being
aware of any connection between shell-fish and iniquity, he entered, and
modestly asked a slatternly woman, who was picking oysters out of a great
watery reservoir, whether he could have a mutton chop and a potato.
The woman
looked somewhat surprised, but answered in the affirmative, and a slipshod girl
ushered him into a long back room, filled with boxes for the accommodation of
parties, in one of which he took his seat. In a more miserably forlorn place he
could not have found himself: the room smelt of fish, and sawdust, and stale
tobacco smoke, with a slight taint of escaped gas; everything was rough and
dirty, and disreputable; the cloth which they put before him was abominable;
the knives and forks were bruised, and hacked, and filthy; and everything was
impregnated with fish. He had one comfort, however: he was quite alone; there
was no one there to look on his dismay; nor was it probable that anyone would
come to do so. It was a London supper-house. About one o'clock at night the
place would be lively enough, but at the present time his seclusion was as deep
as it had been in the abbey.
In about
half an hour the untidy girl, not yet dressed for her evening labours, brought
him his chop and potatoes, and Mr Harding begged for a pint of sherry. He was
impressed with an idea, which was generally prevalent a few years since, and is
not yet wholly removed from the minds of men, that to order a dinner at any
kind of inn, without also ordering a pint of wine for the benefit of the
landlord, was a kind of fraud,—not punishable, indeed, by law, but not the less
abominable on that account. Mr Harding remembered his coming poverty, and would
willingly have saved his half-crown, but he thought he had no alternative; and
he was soon put in possession of some horrid mixture procured from the
neighbouring public-house.
His chop
and potatoes, however, were eatable, and having got over as best he might the
disgust created by the knives and forks, he contrived to swallow his dinner. He
was not much disturbed: one young man, with pale face and watery fishlike eyes,
wearing his hat ominously on one side, did come in and stare at him, and ask
the girl, audibly enough, "Who that old cock was;" but the annoyance
went no further, and the warden was left seated on his wooden bench in peace,
endeavouring to distinguish the different scents arising from lobsters,
oysters, and salmon.
Unknowing
as Mr Harding was in the ways of London, he felt that he had somehow selected
an ineligible dining-house, and that he had better leave it. It was hardly five
o'clock;—how was he to pass the time till ten? Five miserable hours! He was
already tired, and it was impossible that he should continue walking so long.
He thought of getting into an omnibus, and going out to Fulham for the sake of
coming back in another: this, however, would be weary work, and as he paid his
bill to the woman in the shop, he asked her if there were any place near where
he could get a cup of coffee. Though she did keep a shellfish supper-house, she
was very civil, and directed him to the cigar divan on the other side of the
street.
Mr Harding
had not a much correcter notion of a cigar divan than he had of a London
dinner-house, but he was desperately in want of rest, and went as he was
directed. He thought he must have made some mistake when he found himself in a
cigar shop, but the man behind the counter saw immediately that he was a
stranger, and understood what he wanted. "One shilling, sir,—thank ye,
sir,—cigar, sir?—ticket for coffee, sir;—you'll only have to call the waiter.
Up those stairs, if you please, sir. Better take the cigar, sir,—you can always
give it to a friend, you know. Well, sir, thank ye, sir;—as you are so good,
I'll smoke it myself." And so Mr Harding ascended to the divan, with his
ticket for coffee, but minus the cigar.
The place
seemed much more suitable to his requirements than the room in which he had
dined: there was, to be sure, a strong smell of tobacco, to which he was not
accustomed; but after the shell-fish, the tobacco did not seem disagreeable.
There were quantities of books, and long rows of sofas. What on earth could be
more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee? An old waiter came up
to him, with a couple of magazines and an evening paper. Was ever anything so
civil? Would he have a cup of coffee, or would he prefer sherbet? Sherbet! Was
he absolutely in an Eastern divan, with the slight addition of all the London
periodicals? He had, however, an idea that sherbet should be drunk sitting
cross-legged, and as he was not quite up to this, he ordered the coffee.
The coffee
came, and was unexceptionable. Why, this divan was a paradise! The civil old
waiter suggested to him a game of chess: though a chess player he was not equal
to this, so he declined, and, putting up his weary legs on the sofa, leisurely
sipped his coffee, and turned over the pages of his Blackwood. He might have
been so engaged for about an hour, for the old waiter enticed him to a second
cup of coffee, when a musical clock began to play. Mr Harding then closed his
magazine, keeping his place with his finger, and lay, listening with closed
eyes to the clock. Soon the clock seemed to turn into a violoncello, with piano
accompaniments, and Mr Harding began to fancy the old waiter was the Bishop of
Barchester; he was inexpressibly shocked that the bishop should have brought
him his coffee with his own hands; then Dr Grantly came in, with a basket full
of lobsters, which he would not be induced to leave downstairs in the kitchen;
and then the warden couldn't quite understand why so many people would smoke in
the bishop's drawing-room; and so he fell fast asleep, and his dreams wandered
away to his accustomed stall in Barchester Cathedral, and the twelve old men he
was so soon about to leave for ever.
He was
fatigued, and slept soundly for some time. Some sudden stop in the musical
clock woke him at length, and he jumped up with a start, surprised to find the
room quite full: it had been nearly empty when his nap began. With nervous
anxiety he pulled out his watch, and found that it was half-past nine. He
seized his hat, and, hurrying downstairs, started at a rapid pace for Lincoln's
Inn.
It still
wanted twenty minutes to ten when the warden found himself at the bottom of Sir
Abraham's stairs, so he walked leisurely up and down the quiet inn to cool
himself. It was a beautiful evening at the end of August. He had recovered from
his fatigue; his sleep and the coffee had refreshed him, and he was surprised
to find that he was absolutely enjoying himself, when the inn clock struck ten.
The sound was hardly over before he knocked at Sir Abraham's door, and was
informed by the clerk who received him that the great man would be with him
immediately.
